email dated 4-28-08
Well, another week gone by. I spent half of the last week in Montevideo, so I still don't know my area as well as I would hope. But that is alright, because I am here to stay for now. Actually we are going back the P-Day after Mothers Day, but I will only lose another P-day so no biggy. It is time to get down to work here. And I am very excited to work with an AMAZING ward that loves me. I played another musical number in church, my own rendition of Joseph Smith's First Prayer, and I have never seen so many people cry from one of my songs. The speaker after the song couldn't even talk, he cried into the microphone (which actually works in this ward!!!!) for a few minutes and bore a very sweet testimony of the Restoration, and sat down. This old lady, even though members know better than to hug missionaries, tried jumping me and got her tears all over me. Some members told me that they had never felt the spirit more strongly. Music is a marvelous thing if you use it right. And I am really grateful for an in-tune piano in our ward. I love being instantly popular in whatever area I go to. The music makes a difference and helps this missionary work. I am excited to say that our whole calendar for the month of May is already filled every last day for lunches! I am going to gain some weight here. This ward is incredible. I am so STOKED to work in a ward that is already offering me help and telling me to visit their friends and family that aren't members. I didn't even have to ask for the references. This is a good ward. I just have to help my companion to see how amazing it really is and we are going to have some success here.
This week I was pondering the Standard of Truth. You know, the statement of the prophet Joseph Smith about how the work will go forth nobly, boldly, and independent, till it has reached every ear and the great Jehovah will say the work is done. It is a powerful prophecy and promise. I as a missionary am always concerned for my status with the Lord. I want to be a successful missionary. I had an epiphany this week that so long as I am applying the atonement to myself and then inviting others to do the same to the best of my abilities, that is my whole purpose. I invite them to do the same: repent. Allow the Lord Jesus Christ to help them change their lives for the better. I am inviting them to do the very same thing that I myself need to do. I invite them to study and learn and apply the same things I myself am learning to study and learn and apply. We are all investigators of the same message. As a missionary, I am a few steps ahead of some of them and behind some others, but we are all heading in the same direction if we are facing our Saviour Jesus Christ, and his INFINITE atonement will reach all of us no matter where we are on the path, so long as we are ON the path heading the right direction. That is the beautiful doctrine of Eternal Progression. The Gospel is really no more than a plan to better the world one person at a time. Things will never be perfect, but if we are trying to give our hearts to Him that paid for us, we will be improving. Progression: It is a beautiful thing. These are things I always know, but it doesn't hurt to remind myself and enhance my own testimony of these truths. I think that is part of the reason the Lord sends 19-25 year old missionaries out. There are better members who could be better missionaries, but He wants US to grow. His atonement is infinite. He has nothing to lose by sending us out. But He gains future leaders of the church with stronger testimonies and better understanding of the doctrine when He sends us the youth of the church to serve. This work will go forth boldly, nobly, no matter what!! It cannot fail. I personally can fail, but this work cannot. So I don't have time to concern myself with all the imperfect details that I can't understand or change, I only have time to do my best effort and give my heart to the Lord, and everything else will fall into place. The Atonement and the Plan is applied at the PERSONAL level, with every single human soul. So we are in good hands. We have nothing to fear as long as we are trying.
I love Tacuarembo. I am excited to get to know it better and to finally have a full week ahead of me to work here. I am trying to remember to smile to everyone and show them that I am happy to be here. I am happy to be here.
Life is good. I am mostly healthy. It is raining and I love it. My story continues in the land of much sand and many stray dogs. Take care! I love you!!
Andy
Monday, April 28, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Tacuarembo to Montevideo
email dated 4-21-08
Well.... I am officially a missionary in Tacuarembo. But today I am in Montevideo again. My companion Elder Surtees has been having a lot of pain in his foot that has affected his mission for the past year. Today we went to the hospital in Montevideo found out that it is a nerve problem. We have to go see a Neurologist on Thursday, although I did suggest that we set up an appointment for next Pday on Monday instead. Oh well. I feel bad for the kid, as I know from Dad, Neurologists aren't any fun. They are going to do some Electrical Study on his nerves and shock him. If I can, I hope I get to watch.
So, part of the problem with being in Montevideo is that I feel homeless. I hadn't really acclimated yet to being in Tacuarembo. In just 4 days I still was feeling Artigas-sick and not quite at home yet and then I didn't get to sleep in my bed last night because we were on a bus to Montevideo and now I am sitting in the Mission Offices, etc... I feel homeless right now. It is a weird feeling. Tacuarembo, from what I can tell, is very similar to Artigas. I have a feeling I will learn to love it a lot, just as I did with Artigas. The ward is a lot stronger, but there are as always issues and rumors about the Bishop, and the classic Uruguayan less actives list of hundreds of members. I am really excited though, because the members in T-bow feed us like kings!! I am going to get fat here. Since I arrived, I haven't spent a single peso on anything. Everybody is always inviting us to eat and we always have food and leftovers that somebody gave us. So at least I got that going for me. We have a full calendar for the month of April and May of lunches already set up. At least the members here really feed us. But I got fed in Artigas too, I just had to make sure I set it up and they loved me. Here we get it anyway. Another fun thing is that our house is a really long and skinny house. I will take pictures and try and send some home next week. It is an interesting house. I am glad that I am here for the winter, or so it seems. The bathroom is only 3 foot by 3 foot, if that, and the shower actually gives good hot water. So it gets nice and steamy. My old bathroom in Artigas was kind of big and the freezing air was inescapable with the pathetic shower head trying to give hot water and then stopping because the electricity circuited out. There are definite ups to the new place...well really only the bathroom, but that is a big up!!
We don't really have any good investigators that I have seen in these 4 days, and the area book is a little less than organized. I have a feeling that my perfectionist organizing may be what the doctor ordered for Tacuarembo Ferro Carril because I am going to start using the book and doing real planning. My companion is a really cool guy. We get along. I think that we will be able to come together and start working here. I was so bored this week with the lessons and walking really slow because of his foot pain. I hope we can get this taken care of because I am too pro-active to walk slow and only have 2 lessons in an afternoon. I am optimistic.
More exciting news: I am no longer a kid in the mission. It is official. I am here in the offices, and on the missionary wall I am no longer on the bottom row. There are a whole bunch of fresher greenies in the mission than me now. I am actually past 4 months in the field which means I am young but no longer a kid. And since I am past 6 months in the mission, no longer will the incoming sister missionaries pass me up on the board. I will never get passed up again on the missionary wall!
Life is good. I hope that I am ready for the work of Tacuarembo, which I still am not too familiar with. But in an effort to make myself instantly popular I went straight to the Bishop Sunday morning and told him I wanted to play a musical number. They aren't used to music as much down here because not nearly as many people can play. Most wards don't have pianists. I did my own rendition of All Creatures of our God and King and I became instantly popular as all the members wanted to shake my hand before leaving church to come and say "felicitaciones" or congratulations. Here they say congratulations for being talented. It is kind of weird. Anyway, the piano lessons continue to pay off. Somebody tell Sister White. And thanks mom for making me practice in Elementary School even when I didn't want to. It is paying off in the mission field. Who would have thought?
I can't think of what else I might have wanted to say...hmmm...All is well. I am doing really well. I am really tan from the summer. I have gained 15 pounds!! But you can't really tell. I still look the same and my pants still feel like they fit the same, but I HAVE gained weight. I am scared of gaining more here in T-bow the way they feed us. We will see.
The mission continues to be a mental battle between my perfectionism and my feelings of insufficiency. Before the mission I was Andy Shepherd!!! Good student, stud, with direction in life, decently confident, etc... And out here I am just another missionary that no matter how hard he tries, it never seems he is enough. No matter how well he does, the Zone Leaders still hassle him for better numbers. And no matter how much he studies or teaches, he can never take away the peoples agency to reject the message. It is a hard battle. I truly have never felt so insufficient. Out here, if you don't pop right up out of bed at 6:30 you are a sinner, and if you don't get 70 contacts a week you are a sinner, if you don't get members at half or your lessons you are a sinner, etc... It is a mentality that is perpetuated by the Zone Leaders. It bothers me. I kid you not, I have been told that if we don't meet our goals than it is always our fault. For example, I had a baptismal goal for March of 3 and I only got 1. Because I had prayed about my goal, that meant that God told me that there were 3 people that I needed to baptize, and if I didn't baptize those 3, I failed. If I can quote my Zone Leaders, "God commanded you to baptize 3 people"...And I failed. I HATE THAT MINDSET!! Can we quit playing God and maybe accept the fact that maybe God wanted me to have that goal because it motivated ME to work harder. But no, according to mission leaders, I failed my Heavenly Father. It is a frustrating thing. I couldn't help it that my 2 other investigators with baptismal date skipped town or the fact that my other possible decided that he didn't want to listen anymore, etc... People have agency. I don't know. It is a frustrating thing to me. I worked as hard as I can!! I didn't sleep in, I did my studies, I walked fast in the street trying to make it to as many lessons as I could, etc... I really cant imagine what more I could have done. But I still failed. It is a good thing I am with Elder Surtees. He hates Zone Leaders with a passion. It isn't great for me in that sense, but he reminds me that it doesn't matter what they say, because their job is supposed to help us to get success and not measure our success. Only the Lord can measure my success as a missionary. That is the truth. But it is hard to remind yourself of that while you are constantly being hassled by your leaders as they drop the name of the Lord on you and tell you that "if you have faith ALL things are possible. Why, there was a missionary a few years back who made it a goal to baptize 25 people, etc..." Maybe I lack in faith. I hope not. Anyway, as you can see, my mind is now very messed with. Do I lack faith? I actually don't know. Back to square 1: I have never felt so insufficient in my whole life.
But in the end, I try to convince myself that I don't care what anyone says that I only answer to the Lord. But it is easier said than done. But despite all this mental battle, I am doing well. I gotta go!!!I love you all!! Take care!!!
Andy
Well.... I am officially a missionary in Tacuarembo. But today I am in Montevideo again. My companion Elder Surtees has been having a lot of pain in his foot that has affected his mission for the past year. Today we went to the hospital in Montevideo found out that it is a nerve problem. We have to go see a Neurologist on Thursday, although I did suggest that we set up an appointment for next Pday on Monday instead. Oh well. I feel bad for the kid, as I know from Dad, Neurologists aren't any fun. They are going to do some Electrical Study on his nerves and shock him. If I can, I hope I get to watch.
So, part of the problem with being in Montevideo is that I feel homeless. I hadn't really acclimated yet to being in Tacuarembo. In just 4 days I still was feeling Artigas-sick and not quite at home yet and then I didn't get to sleep in my bed last night because we were on a bus to Montevideo and now I am sitting in the Mission Offices, etc... I feel homeless right now. It is a weird feeling. Tacuarembo, from what I can tell, is very similar to Artigas. I have a feeling I will learn to love it a lot, just as I did with Artigas. The ward is a lot stronger, but there are as always issues and rumors about the Bishop, and the classic Uruguayan less actives list of hundreds of members. I am really excited though, because the members in T-bow feed us like kings!! I am going to get fat here. Since I arrived, I haven't spent a single peso on anything. Everybody is always inviting us to eat and we always have food and leftovers that somebody gave us. So at least I got that going for me. We have a full calendar for the month of April and May of lunches already set up. At least the members here really feed us. But I got fed in Artigas too, I just had to make sure I set it up and they loved me. Here we get it anyway. Another fun thing is that our house is a really long and skinny house. I will take pictures and try and send some home next week. It is an interesting house. I am glad that I am here for the winter, or so it seems. The bathroom is only 3 foot by 3 foot, if that, and the shower actually gives good hot water. So it gets nice and steamy. My old bathroom in Artigas was kind of big and the freezing air was inescapable with the pathetic shower head trying to give hot water and then stopping because the electricity circuited out. There are definite ups to the new place...well really only the bathroom, but that is a big up!!
We don't really have any good investigators that I have seen in these 4 days, and the area book is a little less than organized. I have a feeling that my perfectionist organizing may be what the doctor ordered for Tacuarembo Ferro Carril because I am going to start using the book and doing real planning. My companion is a really cool guy. We get along. I think that we will be able to come together and start working here. I was so bored this week with the lessons and walking really slow because of his foot pain. I hope we can get this taken care of because I am too pro-active to walk slow and only have 2 lessons in an afternoon. I am optimistic.
More exciting news: I am no longer a kid in the mission. It is official. I am here in the offices, and on the missionary wall I am no longer on the bottom row. There are a whole bunch of fresher greenies in the mission than me now. I am actually past 4 months in the field which means I am young but no longer a kid. And since I am past 6 months in the mission, no longer will the incoming sister missionaries pass me up on the board. I will never get passed up again on the missionary wall!
Life is good. I hope that I am ready for the work of Tacuarembo, which I still am not too familiar with. But in an effort to make myself instantly popular I went straight to the Bishop Sunday morning and told him I wanted to play a musical number. They aren't used to music as much down here because not nearly as many people can play. Most wards don't have pianists. I did my own rendition of All Creatures of our God and King and I became instantly popular as all the members wanted to shake my hand before leaving church to come and say "felicitaciones" or congratulations. Here they say congratulations for being talented. It is kind of weird. Anyway, the piano lessons continue to pay off. Somebody tell Sister White. And thanks mom for making me practice in Elementary School even when I didn't want to. It is paying off in the mission field. Who would have thought?
I can't think of what else I might have wanted to say...hmmm...All is well. I am doing really well. I am really tan from the summer. I have gained 15 pounds!! But you can't really tell. I still look the same and my pants still feel like they fit the same, but I HAVE gained weight. I am scared of gaining more here in T-bow the way they feed us. We will see.
The mission continues to be a mental battle between my perfectionism and my feelings of insufficiency. Before the mission I was Andy Shepherd!!! Good student, stud, with direction in life, decently confident, etc... And out here I am just another missionary that no matter how hard he tries, it never seems he is enough. No matter how well he does, the Zone Leaders still hassle him for better numbers. And no matter how much he studies or teaches, he can never take away the peoples agency to reject the message. It is a hard battle. I truly have never felt so insufficient. Out here, if you don't pop right up out of bed at 6:30 you are a sinner, and if you don't get 70 contacts a week you are a sinner, if you don't get members at half or your lessons you are a sinner, etc... It is a mentality that is perpetuated by the Zone Leaders. It bothers me. I kid you not, I have been told that if we don't meet our goals than it is always our fault. For example, I had a baptismal goal for March of 3 and I only got 1. Because I had prayed about my goal, that meant that God told me that there were 3 people that I needed to baptize, and if I didn't baptize those 3, I failed. If I can quote my Zone Leaders, "God commanded you to baptize 3 people"...And I failed. I HATE THAT MINDSET!! Can we quit playing God and maybe accept the fact that maybe God wanted me to have that goal because it motivated ME to work harder. But no, according to mission leaders, I failed my Heavenly Father. It is a frustrating thing. I couldn't help it that my 2 other investigators with baptismal date skipped town or the fact that my other possible decided that he didn't want to listen anymore, etc... People have agency. I don't know. It is a frustrating thing to me. I worked as hard as I can!! I didn't sleep in, I did my studies, I walked fast in the street trying to make it to as many lessons as I could, etc... I really cant imagine what more I could have done. But I still failed. It is a good thing I am with Elder Surtees. He hates Zone Leaders with a passion. It isn't great for me in that sense, but he reminds me that it doesn't matter what they say, because their job is supposed to help us to get success and not measure our success. Only the Lord can measure my success as a missionary. That is the truth. But it is hard to remind yourself of that while you are constantly being hassled by your leaders as they drop the name of the Lord on you and tell you that "if you have faith ALL things are possible. Why, there was a missionary a few years back who made it a goal to baptize 25 people, etc..." Maybe I lack in faith. I hope not. Anyway, as you can see, my mind is now very messed with. Do I lack faith? I actually don't know. Back to square 1: I have never felt so insufficient in my whole life.
But in the end, I try to convince myself that I don't care what anyone says that I only answer to the Lord. But it is easier said than done. But despite all this mental battle, I am doing well. I gotta go!!!I love you all!! Take care!!!
Andy
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Me Voy
email dated 4-15-08
My reign in Artigas has come to an end. They are moving me to Tacuarembo, more commonly known by the missionaries as "T-Bow". I cried. I really really didn't want to leave Artigas. I have to finish packing today and I am leaving tonight. I expected that I might be transferred, and so I was ready for this. But what hurts right now is that my companion Elder Fernandez is moving up to Zone Leader and so he is leaving too!!! We just barely got the ball really rolling here. We have been working SOO hard with the bishop to try and teach him his responsibility and help him to do it. Barrio 4 of Artigas had its first own mutual activity in years last Saturday!! There is no Young Mens President because there is nobody to do it. Therefore it is the responsibility of the Bishop, but he is incapable of doing such a socially demanding calling. So we have been helping him with it and trying to help him find a YM President because we believe that the youth are the future of this ward. Anyway, we were finally seeing progress, and BOTH of us are leaving. It is a serious problem to me. The new missionaries that are coming are a missionary who is about to go home who is training a new kid here. I just pray this guy isn't trunky and that he is really willing to go above and beyond the call of duty here for his last transfer in the mission. Elder Fernandez, my companion, was so concerned Sunday night when he received a special call from the President inviting him to be a new Zone Leader, that he said, "then my companion is staying here right?" When he heard I was leaving he requested to stay and said he would wait to be a Zone Leader for later. The President wouldn't go for it. We are both so sad to leave. I cried because this is my home. I have family and friends here. I have a pool of investigators, 5 with baptismal goals, that I have to leave behind. I just pray that the missionaries that come are willing to try and help with mutual and things like that, even though that isn't a missionary's calling. We have seen references and more success working deep inside the ward like this than we had before. I saw miracles this last transfer with Elder Fernandez and we became the best of friends, despite all the problems we had early on in the month with his dear john and his no money. We got over our differences and became best friends. Leaving him is as hard as leaving Artigas. He was great for my Spanish, being from Chile, and he was a great missionary. This transfer is really hard. It is supposedly rare that both missionaries leave an area. Usually one stays to capacitate the other missionary on the area. This is what they call a white-wash. I was originally very upset when I heard the transfers that we were both leaving, but I remembered that President is called to direct this work. God is fair. He knows what is going on and He will take care of His children. It is arrogance in me to think I am the only missionary who knows how to take care of Artigas 4. I have repented of my initial frustration and am excited for a change and a new ward that awaits me in Tacuarembo. The mission is like this. Vale la pena.
So as you all enjoy the beautiful Spring weather that is coming to Utah, I hope you all remember that I am on the opposite end of the world. It is getting really cold!! It is freezing. Only cold here is much worse than Utah, even though there is no snow. It is really humid, because we are so close to the ocean. There is no escape from the cold. It doesn't matter if I wear my coat to bed and sleep under 3 blankets. The humidity cuts straight through to your bones. Our houses aren't insulated here in Uruguay. It isn't quite like the United States. My cement house and thin windows don't do anything. I actually think it is colder inside than outside. And it will only get worse. For now, during the day it is very okay. It is chilly, but fine in the afternoon. But at night, whoo!! And it gets worse. During July, the temperatures are as low as they are in Utah, we are in a temperate climate too, only there is no snow and much more humidity. I hope as you are all getting ready to go swimming that you take a minute to stop and think of your dear Missionary in a little far away place called Uruguay.
I don't really know what else to say for now. Life is good. I am past the 6 month mark, and therefore past the hardest part of the mission I hear. I hope that's true. At least I speak Spanish a lot better now. I understand and speak all by myself if I have to. It is most gratifying. I still have a long way to go to speak like a Native, if that is ever truly possible, but I do speak this language and it makes me very happy.
I love you all SO much!! I hope that you are doing well and that life is treating your fairly. Take care!! Don't forget to enjoy the simple pleasures of normal daily life!
Andy
My reign in Artigas has come to an end. They are moving me to Tacuarembo, more commonly known by the missionaries as "T-Bow". I cried. I really really didn't want to leave Artigas. I have to finish packing today and I am leaving tonight. I expected that I might be transferred, and so I was ready for this. But what hurts right now is that my companion Elder Fernandez is moving up to Zone Leader and so he is leaving too!!! We just barely got the ball really rolling here. We have been working SOO hard with the bishop to try and teach him his responsibility and help him to do it. Barrio 4 of Artigas had its first own mutual activity in years last Saturday!! There is no Young Mens President because there is nobody to do it. Therefore it is the responsibility of the Bishop, but he is incapable of doing such a socially demanding calling. So we have been helping him with it and trying to help him find a YM President because we believe that the youth are the future of this ward. Anyway, we were finally seeing progress, and BOTH of us are leaving. It is a serious problem to me. The new missionaries that are coming are a missionary who is about to go home who is training a new kid here. I just pray this guy isn't trunky and that he is really willing to go above and beyond the call of duty here for his last transfer in the mission. Elder Fernandez, my companion, was so concerned Sunday night when he received a special call from the President inviting him to be a new Zone Leader, that he said, "then my companion is staying here right?" When he heard I was leaving he requested to stay and said he would wait to be a Zone Leader for later. The President wouldn't go for it. We are both so sad to leave. I cried because this is my home. I have family and friends here. I have a pool of investigators, 5 with baptismal goals, that I have to leave behind. I just pray that the missionaries that come are willing to try and help with mutual and things like that, even though that isn't a missionary's calling. We have seen references and more success working deep inside the ward like this than we had before. I saw miracles this last transfer with Elder Fernandez and we became the best of friends, despite all the problems we had early on in the month with his dear john and his no money. We got over our differences and became best friends. Leaving him is as hard as leaving Artigas. He was great for my Spanish, being from Chile, and he was a great missionary. This transfer is really hard. It is supposedly rare that both missionaries leave an area. Usually one stays to capacitate the other missionary on the area. This is what they call a white-wash. I was originally very upset when I heard the transfers that we were both leaving, but I remembered that President is called to direct this work. God is fair. He knows what is going on and He will take care of His children. It is arrogance in me to think I am the only missionary who knows how to take care of Artigas 4. I have repented of my initial frustration and am excited for a change and a new ward that awaits me in Tacuarembo. The mission is like this. Vale la pena.
So as you all enjoy the beautiful Spring weather that is coming to Utah, I hope you all remember that I am on the opposite end of the world. It is getting really cold!! It is freezing. Only cold here is much worse than Utah, even though there is no snow. It is really humid, because we are so close to the ocean. There is no escape from the cold. It doesn't matter if I wear my coat to bed and sleep under 3 blankets. The humidity cuts straight through to your bones. Our houses aren't insulated here in Uruguay. It isn't quite like the United States. My cement house and thin windows don't do anything. I actually think it is colder inside than outside. And it will only get worse. For now, during the day it is very okay. It is chilly, but fine in the afternoon. But at night, whoo!! And it gets worse. During July, the temperatures are as low as they are in Utah, we are in a temperate climate too, only there is no snow and much more humidity. I hope as you are all getting ready to go swimming that you take a minute to stop and think of your dear Missionary in a little far away place called Uruguay.
I don't really know what else to say for now. Life is good. I am past the 6 month mark, and therefore past the hardest part of the mission I hear. I hope that's true. At least I speak Spanish a lot better now. I understand and speak all by myself if I have to. It is most gratifying. I still have a long way to go to speak like a Native, if that is ever truly possible, but I do speak this language and it makes me very happy.
I love you all SO much!! I hope that you are doing well and that life is treating your fairly. Take care!! Don't forget to enjoy the simple pleasures of normal daily life!
Andy
A New Prophet
email dated 4-7-08
So Conference Weekend is very different in Uruguay. For starters, it doesn't start until 1 in the afternoon. It will be especially weird in October when it is a 5 hour difference again and it starts at 3! Also, I didn't get any ice cream after Priesthood Session. Also, I had to watch the Sunday Morning Session in Spanish, which isn't really that bad, because I understand Spanish now. But I still hated it. You could hear their real voices when they stood up to speak, as if to taunt you, and then a very intruding deep Spanish voice would come in and drown them out and fill your ears with the Spanish translation. It hurt my soul because I wanted to hear their real voices. My investigator fell asleep. It was kind of frustrating.
Either way, Conference was still very edifying and enjoyable. Something about being a missionary made those 10 hours of session go by ALOT faster. I think that it was because we were being taught the gospel instead of having to teach to somebody. So it was, in every sense of the word, a vacation for us. I enjoyed Conference immensely in that aspect. I think also what made those 10 hours go by faster was a more mature Andy Shepherd. When a session ended I couldn't believe that it was already over. I wasn't immature before, but Conference sessions always did feel like 2 hours to me before the mission. This time it went by so fast. Anyway, it was a good conference weekend.
My report is that Elder M. Russell Ballards address was my favorite one, or maybe second favorite next to Elder Bendars talk. Elder Ballard spoke of motherhood and families. It made me homesick. I longed for those feelings of home that he was reminding me of as he spoke. But what touched me about his talk was the respect he gave to the word Mother. I loved the advice he gave. If I can quote him, he said "families need unstructured time!" I loved that he said that. He is a wise man.
Elder Bednars talk about prayer changed me. And, I want to add, that I applauded when he said "Missionaries are called to be full time teachers, NOT full time finders." He asked the membership to stop praying for the missionaries to do their own jobs for them. But more impacting, was how carefully and clearly he tied prayer with action and that it is much more than saying the prayer. His reminder that saying "thy will be done" is not enough really impacted me. I always just pray, and then in the end say "and if you don't want any of this it is cool, I understand it is your will", more or less, but I don't say it in those words. But that isn't faith in me, nor am I using prayer the way I need to. I need to remember to seek His will, not just accept it.
So that is enough of that. You all saw the same conference I did. I don't need to tell you what happened. So I will tell you something cool that you don't know. A really nice man from Rama 5 here in Artigas gave me a guitar!!!! He is from Chile, and we had gone to visit him because we were preparing for a cultural activity that we were putting on in the stake center, and we wanted his help. He suggested some music and brought out a guitar. He began teaching us a song from Chile and I was singing along and he stopped and commented that he thought I had an hermosa voice. He asked if I played guitar. I said yes and he handed me the guitar and went to his room and grabbed another one. We began playing together and singing. After 45 minutes of what was supposed to be a quick 15 minute visit I began feeling guilty because I really enjoyed playing guitar and singing with this man. I politely told him that we needed to get going. We called a taxi and as we were waiting he talked to me about music a bit. I told him that I really missed music, and that playing guitar with him made me feel like I was home with my dad or my brothers playing music together. He then said, "take that guitar then. It's yours." I told him I couldn't. He told me he had 4 others. I still was hesitant. He said "Look, I know how it is. Music is like breathing for you. You need that guitar. Take it. If you feel like it, at the end of your mission mail it back to me before you fly home." .... So I took it. I have a guitar now. I told him he was saving me from la muerta musical, the musical death, and that I wouldn't forget it. He was SO nice. And now I have a guitar to play at the end of the day after I have written in my journal, or on Pdays, or whatever spare minute I may have. I have had it over a week and I can feel it making a difference, and not just that I have callouses on my fingertips again, but I really feel healthier. I use the guitar for good and not for evil. I am content.
Well, I must be going. It is that time again. I hope that everyone is doing well! Love yáll!!
Andy
So Conference Weekend is very different in Uruguay. For starters, it doesn't start until 1 in the afternoon. It will be especially weird in October when it is a 5 hour difference again and it starts at 3! Also, I didn't get any ice cream after Priesthood Session. Also, I had to watch the Sunday Morning Session in Spanish, which isn't really that bad, because I understand Spanish now. But I still hated it. You could hear their real voices when they stood up to speak, as if to taunt you, and then a very intruding deep Spanish voice would come in and drown them out and fill your ears with the Spanish translation. It hurt my soul because I wanted to hear their real voices. My investigator fell asleep. It was kind of frustrating.
Either way, Conference was still very edifying and enjoyable. Something about being a missionary made those 10 hours of session go by ALOT faster. I think that it was because we were being taught the gospel instead of having to teach to somebody. So it was, in every sense of the word, a vacation for us. I enjoyed Conference immensely in that aspect. I think also what made those 10 hours go by faster was a more mature Andy Shepherd. When a session ended I couldn't believe that it was already over. I wasn't immature before, but Conference sessions always did feel like 2 hours to me before the mission. This time it went by so fast. Anyway, it was a good conference weekend.
My report is that Elder M. Russell Ballards address was my favorite one, or maybe second favorite next to Elder Bendars talk. Elder Ballard spoke of motherhood and families. It made me homesick. I longed for those feelings of home that he was reminding me of as he spoke. But what touched me about his talk was the respect he gave to the word Mother. I loved the advice he gave. If I can quote him, he said "families need unstructured time!" I loved that he said that. He is a wise man.
Elder Bednars talk about prayer changed me. And, I want to add, that I applauded when he said "Missionaries are called to be full time teachers, NOT full time finders." He asked the membership to stop praying for the missionaries to do their own jobs for them. But more impacting, was how carefully and clearly he tied prayer with action and that it is much more than saying the prayer. His reminder that saying "thy will be done" is not enough really impacted me. I always just pray, and then in the end say "and if you don't want any of this it is cool, I understand it is your will", more or less, but I don't say it in those words. But that isn't faith in me, nor am I using prayer the way I need to. I need to remember to seek His will, not just accept it.
So that is enough of that. You all saw the same conference I did. I don't need to tell you what happened. So I will tell you something cool that you don't know. A really nice man from Rama 5 here in Artigas gave me a guitar!!!! He is from Chile, and we had gone to visit him because we were preparing for a cultural activity that we were putting on in the stake center, and we wanted his help. He suggested some music and brought out a guitar. He began teaching us a song from Chile and I was singing along and he stopped and commented that he thought I had an hermosa voice. He asked if I played guitar. I said yes and he handed me the guitar and went to his room and grabbed another one. We began playing together and singing. After 45 minutes of what was supposed to be a quick 15 minute visit I began feeling guilty because I really enjoyed playing guitar and singing with this man. I politely told him that we needed to get going. We called a taxi and as we were waiting he talked to me about music a bit. I told him that I really missed music, and that playing guitar with him made me feel like I was home with my dad or my brothers playing music together. He then said, "take that guitar then. It's yours." I told him I couldn't. He told me he had 4 others. I still was hesitant. He said "Look, I know how it is. Music is like breathing for you. You need that guitar. Take it. If you feel like it, at the end of your mission mail it back to me before you fly home." .... So I took it. I have a guitar now. I told him he was saving me from la muerta musical, the musical death, and that I wouldn't forget it. He was SO nice. And now I have a guitar to play at the end of the day after I have written in my journal, or on Pdays, or whatever spare minute I may have. I have had it over a week and I can feel it making a difference, and not just that I have callouses on my fingertips again, but I really feel healthier. I use the guitar for good and not for evil. I am content.
Well, I must be going. It is that time again. I hope that everyone is doing well! Love yáll!!
Andy
On the up and up
email dated 3-31-08
Sorry I didn't write the group email last week. I wasn't in a good mood and I was afraid I would end up complaining about my companion. That was the last thing I wanted to do in an email to everybody. But I am delighted to report that I am on the up and up.
I am happier than I have ever been my entire mission! I really got it together this week. I am really having fun with it now . We have good investigators, and some really good ones with baptismal dates for April, although I am bummed because I might get transferred and I won't get to see them be baptized, but I still played a part in it either way. Oh yeah, it is really hard for me to put my thoughts together so I will write this email in story form.
Elder Fernandez was driving me crazy. When he started here he made me mad on the very first day of the month when he informed me that he had no money. I had to pay for everything this month. EVERYTHING! I even paid for food for him, and it came out of my own pocket eventually because two missionaries living off of one missionary's asignación is impossible. So I let that get to me. But I let more get to me. His Dear John was sad and I tried to be sensitive and understanding, but I just couldn't be sensitive enough. The way he would intimidate and offend my ward and my investigators that Elder Davies and I found before he got here really bothered me. He has this very Deep Doctrine style of teaching. He tries teaching the meat before the milk. We would be teaching someone who doesn't know if they believe in God and he will decide to teach Priesthood Authority and use his knowledge of the Bible Dictionary and a mountain of Scriptures from the Bible to prove why Authority is necessary. The worst was when he read scriptures that I didn't even know what they meant and then he would ask "what does this mean?" and then he will look at them and wait. And if they don't answer after 30 seconds of silence he will say, "fine, I will explain it to you..." And then I will come back in and testify that God loves us and that He lives. We were clashing, to say the least.
But everything started to change this week. I woke up one day and remembered what Dad told me about 100 times before my mission that sometimes your companion can be your mission. As I laid on the floor doing my morning sit-ups I resolved that by the end of that day that Elder Fernandez and I would be best friends. I started very simply by asking him what kind of music he liked. We talked about music, I found he liked the Beatles, we sang Beatles songs together in the street when nobody was around, we talked about his family, etc... Well, we still had just as many lessons but at the end of the day I felt something different. It continued into the next couple days. We all of the sudden were very open with each other and talked about everything. With an improved relationship, he was able to give me advice and vice versa. I suggested that we stick to the simple and beautiful doctrines of the Gospel, as Elder David A. Bednar had suggested to us while I was in the MTC. We discussed trying to make others feel comfortable. He asked me how I managed to be so outgoing with these people in a language that isn't my own. We talked about how important it is to keep a smile on your face and show everyone that you are happy to be here. This was advice for myself. Because for more than a week I was miserable with him. I hated every lesson we had together, I hated every contact we did, I got to a point where I was critiquing every little thing he said in my mind. And it finally hit me that morning doing my sit ups. That is exactly what Satan wants. If he can destroy our companionship, we won't be able to teach worth squat. Sure Elder Fernandez is frustrating sometimes, and he still makes me mad the way he wastes money, but I don't let it get to me anymore. I still am smiling today. I will always be in a battle with myself and my perfectionism. I want things to be the best they can be. But I can't let the little things get to me. I justified myself in complaining about my companion because he really did waste all of his money and doesn't wake up on time and etc... But in my justification as I allowed myself to complain I invited the Spirit to leave me and allowed, for a time at least, Satan to continue reminding me just how bad things were. But the truth is that things are great. We are teaching the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ. It doesn't get any better than that. Things truly are on the up and up. I have never had a more challenging few weeks on the mission, and I have never been happier than I am today. I feel good. I feel peace. And I know that the Lord is proud of me for finally coming to, and recognizing MY pride and MY sin, and He has offered me the comfort I needed. At the end of the day, the only comfort I need is to know that my Savior would say "Well done thou good and faithful servant." I pray I will continue to strive to achieve that feeling at the end of every day. Part of achieving that requires that I have a constant good attitude. I am so grateful for the book of 1 Nephi, because I read it twice this transfer trying to figure out how to have a good attitude. I am smiling again. I am happy.
I don't know if I said any of this at all very well, and I hope it didn't come out like a talk in church. I am doing well. I am happy, healthy, and filthy wealthy. I have to go because I am out of time. I love you all SO much!!
Andy
Sorry I didn't write the group email last week. I wasn't in a good mood and I was afraid I would end up complaining about my companion. That was the last thing I wanted to do in an email to everybody. But I am delighted to report that I am on the up and up.
I am happier than I have ever been my entire mission! I really got it together this week. I am really having fun with it now . We have good investigators, and some really good ones with baptismal dates for April, although I am bummed because I might get transferred and I won't get to see them be baptized, but I still played a part in it either way. Oh yeah, it is really hard for me to put my thoughts together so I will write this email in story form.
Elder Fernandez was driving me crazy. When he started here he made me mad on the very first day of the month when he informed me that he had no money. I had to pay for everything this month. EVERYTHING! I even paid for food for him, and it came out of my own pocket eventually because two missionaries living off of one missionary's asignación is impossible. So I let that get to me. But I let more get to me. His Dear John was sad and I tried to be sensitive and understanding, but I just couldn't be sensitive enough. The way he would intimidate and offend my ward and my investigators that Elder Davies and I found before he got here really bothered me. He has this very Deep Doctrine style of teaching. He tries teaching the meat before the milk. We would be teaching someone who doesn't know if they believe in God and he will decide to teach Priesthood Authority and use his knowledge of the Bible Dictionary and a mountain of Scriptures from the Bible to prove why Authority is necessary. The worst was when he read scriptures that I didn't even know what they meant and then he would ask "what does this mean?" and then he will look at them and wait. And if they don't answer after 30 seconds of silence he will say, "fine, I will explain it to you..." And then I will come back in and testify that God loves us and that He lives. We were clashing, to say the least.
But everything started to change this week. I woke up one day and remembered what Dad told me about 100 times before my mission that sometimes your companion can be your mission. As I laid on the floor doing my morning sit-ups I resolved that by the end of that day that Elder Fernandez and I would be best friends. I started very simply by asking him what kind of music he liked. We talked about music, I found he liked the Beatles, we sang Beatles songs together in the street when nobody was around, we talked about his family, etc... Well, we still had just as many lessons but at the end of the day I felt something different. It continued into the next couple days. We all of the sudden were very open with each other and talked about everything. With an improved relationship, he was able to give me advice and vice versa. I suggested that we stick to the simple and beautiful doctrines of the Gospel, as Elder David A. Bednar had suggested to us while I was in the MTC. We discussed trying to make others feel comfortable. He asked me how I managed to be so outgoing with these people in a language that isn't my own. We talked about how important it is to keep a smile on your face and show everyone that you are happy to be here. This was advice for myself. Because for more than a week I was miserable with him. I hated every lesson we had together, I hated every contact we did, I got to a point where I was critiquing every little thing he said in my mind. And it finally hit me that morning doing my sit ups. That is exactly what Satan wants. If he can destroy our companionship, we won't be able to teach worth squat. Sure Elder Fernandez is frustrating sometimes, and he still makes me mad the way he wastes money, but I don't let it get to me anymore. I still am smiling today. I will always be in a battle with myself and my perfectionism. I want things to be the best they can be. But I can't let the little things get to me. I justified myself in complaining about my companion because he really did waste all of his money and doesn't wake up on time and etc... But in my justification as I allowed myself to complain I invited the Spirit to leave me and allowed, for a time at least, Satan to continue reminding me just how bad things were. But the truth is that things are great. We are teaching the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ. It doesn't get any better than that. Things truly are on the up and up. I have never had a more challenging few weeks on the mission, and I have never been happier than I am today. I feel good. I feel peace. And I know that the Lord is proud of me for finally coming to, and recognizing MY pride and MY sin, and He has offered me the comfort I needed. At the end of the day, the only comfort I need is to know that my Savior would say "Well done thou good and faithful servant." I pray I will continue to strive to achieve that feeling at the end of every day. Part of achieving that requires that I have a constant good attitude. I am so grateful for the book of 1 Nephi, because I read it twice this transfer trying to figure out how to have a good attitude. I am smiling again. I am happy.
I don't know if I said any of this at all very well, and I hope it didn't come out like a talk in church. I am doing well. I am happy, healthy, and filthy wealthy. I have to go because I am out of time. I love you all SO much!!
Andy
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