Official Statement

email dated 11/17/08
Oh the mission continues for me. It is hard for me to know what to write about these days because I don’t want my mail home to be boring. Rest assured that I write stories in my journal, but I am afraid too many stories full of names of people you don’t know will be boring. Furthermore, a lot of stories are also very personal and sacred spiritual experiences, and I fear, that if I always try writing home "AMAZING" experiences, I will start viewing my mission experiences as news report articles to be printed and I will be searching always for the next hot story to tell. That isn’t what these experiences are for and so, if you have noticed my emails lack stories lately, part of that is my new way of thinking. "You can’t force spiritual things" (President Boyd K Packer). I don’t want to start looking for things to report. If I feel so inspired some days, I may share some amazing experiences that I have. For the most part, that is how I have been writing during these last 5 months. So if my emails seem self-centered, over self-analytical, etc... I believe it is because I am talking too much about how I feel in an attempt to not write too many stories.

While we are on the topic of how I feel, I did want to address one issue that is a sharp topic in the modern world: gay marriage. I have always had a hard time with this issue. I try so hard to be a tolerant and a loving person, and I would never want to be guilty of ignorant or intolerant behavior toward any group of persons. That is what has made gay marriage such a difficult topic for me.

The church has officially come out in favor of the family, stating that "marriage is between man and woman." We are all familiar with the Proclamation to the World.

I am more than a member, a missionary, of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. And I admit that when I became aware that the church was spending tithing money to be involved in the political debate going on in California over gay marriage and proposition 8, I didn’t know what to think. I felt like a piece of paper that had been gripped by 1st grade kids and that they were ripping in opposite directions.

I remember a time in high school when a group of kids in their "straight pride shirts" asked me if I would join them in their "anti-protest of the gay protestors" that was currently going on. When I said “no” and was called a "fag lover," I remember being proud of that later and I thought of Atticus Finch--that "nigger lover" from To Kill A Mockingbird, which is one of my favorite books.

I had always personally felt that Civil Unions wouldn’t be bad. I wanted the debate to end so it would stop yanking at me. Even more, I felt that gay persons deserved rights to insurance benefits just like any other married people could do. I thought a Civil Union would make sense and end a very severe debate. I was always very frustrated at what I viewed as "hateful intolerance" and the way many use the word "gay" as an insult. Those things made me sad.

Anyway, so that was how I felt. For a long time I rarely thought about it, I went to college, found homework and a girlfriend occupied my time just fine, etc... It wasn’t until just a few months ago, when the debate over proposition 8 was going on in California that my passions were ignited again. There are a lot of missionaries from California in my zone for some reason I found myself receiving weekly news on the debate.

My official statement is this: intolerant behavior is making me sad. For a while I thought I was mad at the church for spending tithing money when not every member of the church was going to agree with those politics. With time I found myself understanding a little better. The church is not fighting against gays or liberals, rather they are only standing up on one issue in an attempt to protect the family institution. They have been mispainted and that does bother me. Even more, I do not enjoy that many liberals claiming to be fighting for tolerance and civil rights are often completely hateful and intolerant of those that don’t see this issue their way. I have been thinking about all my wonderful and conservative friends who I know stand for the marriage between man a woman, and, in my consideration of their character, I found not one drop of intolerance, ignorance, or hatred. I recognized that my anti-intolerant sentiments that I had formerly aimed at conservative people had sometimes been misplaced and undeserved. As I think about the LDS people, I know a people that is loving and tolerant and doing their best to try to make a good society, one that they feel comfortable raising their children in. I do not see hateful anti-gay people as I once did. It was important for me to recognize that.

With my head finally cleared, I was able to consider the issue in a different light. I still personally have a hard time with the whole thing, but I officially state that I do not believe the church is extremist or out of place in its stance. The official church statement is anything but extremist. Firstly, they said that they made a stance, even still knowing that many "good active members" may not agree. They aren’t trying to tell everyone what to say. Furthermore, it has been stated that the church is not opposed to hospitalization, insurance rights, etc... of gay persons. Simply put, the church would allow for such rights as long as they come by any other means than gay marriage, because the family institution is too sacred and they view marriage as between a man and a woman.

One trend in recent history that I fear is what I call the liberalization of society. As a historian, I love liberals. I always have and do. They fight for freedom and liberty, they beat tyrannical monarchs, they brought religious freedom to western civilization, they fought against slavery, they fought for women to have the right to vote, they fought for civil rights, etc... All things that always felt passionate about and loved. My fear is this: in the last 40 years the liberalization of society has been unprecedented in speed, and it has lots of momentum. Without opposition, we have the extremist enemy that we always talk about in the Shepherd house. I am proud of the church for playing a crucial part in the political process. "It must needs be that there be opposition in all things." Furthermore, I am proud of church members for coming together and working so hard— even if I still personally struggle with where I would stand politically.

LET COMPASSION REIGN!! It makes me sad when my companions from California show me their mail, and I read that their fathers have been spit on in the face by protestors, that their church meetings were interrupted by screaming persons in sacrament meeting shouting, "YOU HATEFUL MORMONS! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!" That makes me sad. I wish that man could hear himself. It makes me sad that church leaders have had to change their phone numbers and stay in the house and turn the music up to try and ignore screaming protestors outside their houses. My heart aches for a people that I personally know and love. They don’t deserve to be treated this way, especially when they have done nothing more than what their opponents are doing--which is get involved in the freedom of the American process to vote and stand up for what they believe.

This is lengthy and so I need to end here. I have no negative feelings towards the church with regards to this issue. I am a Latter Day Saint. Furthermore, I believe that Joseph Smith was a prophet, despite any imperfections he may have had, and I believe that the current Prophets and Apostles are called of God to lead us in the present day. I know the church is true. I know the Book of Mormon is the word of God. I know the fundamental necessary truths to keep me on a path of righteousness. I am doing my best to choose the right. It is hard to stand up for what is right when it seems all the ground has gotten dirty. I want you all to know that this issue hasn’t been easy for me, and I am sure it isn’t easy for all of you either because I know your passions and hearts too. But let it be said that we can’t forget the important things which are our faith in God and our families. Those have more value than anything else.

Take care, my dear family!! I love you!!!

Andy