The Story Continues

The story of our hero continues this week in the land of Tacuarembó. He faced many challenges. Such as: a sick and grumpy companion, being somewhat ill himself, the wicked cold, the even more wicked cold inside of his cement box of a house, the words he still doesn't know, the issue of the ever growing stomach from a ward that feeds him far too much, and his ridiculous good looks were an ever present burden. As his father taught him well, "It isnt easy to be so good looking." Our young hero learned that lesson well this week as all the women in the street continue to try and kiss him for a greeting as he continues to place a firm handshake in their path. It isn't easy when everybody wants to kiss you...

It really is kind of a challenge. I have been, for the most part, very successful at stopping people from kissing me. It is just the greeting they do down here. Very few have successfully laid one on me. The worst being an old lady in Artigas that didnt have any teeth and she got slobber on my cheek. That was SICK! And there was once a 13 year old girl in a house where I was teaching in which I had already established that I only shook hands and gave her my hand to shake and she shook it and 2 seconds later when I wasn't looking she still jumped in and laid one square on my cheek. I am just glad I have never been nailed on the lips. I know an Elder that got kissed by a guy who got him on the corner of his lips. I am glad that I haven't yet been kissed by a guy. Old women and little girls aren't nearly as awkward.

That brings up the issue of "Snakes" as they are called. It is a word that I am not fond of, but all the missionaries use it, including the latin missionaries. There are some "Snakes" as they call them in our ward. There is a girl who is always giving us the eye and has said she wants to marry a gringo and go and live in the United States. She won't get this gringo, but the sad thing is that some Elders are really dumb and do fall into bad situations like that, and even if they don't do anything they get themselves into trouble by allowing themselves to even be placed in bad situations. There are TOO many sad stories of missionaries getting into trouble. So to all my faithul readers, if you are a female DO NOT FLIRT WITH THE MISSIONARIES and if you are a future missionary BEWARE OF THE SNAKES, and if you are a future Sister Missionary DO NOT FLIRT WITH THE MISSIONARIES. Same advice from the Shepherd Corner this week. It is a tragedy to see Sister Missionaries trying to flirt with Elders. I haven't seen it since the MTC though, so it is okay now. But I do remember some pretty iffy stuff in the MTC. In an effort to make my emails more interesting, I will recount a VERY old story from the beginning of my mission because I have nothing interesting to tell from this last week. Well, there's really two stories.

So there was this Hermana (Sister) in my Zone in the MTC that was very aware of her female status and demanded the due respect to a degree that I felt was inappropriate of a mission atmosphere. One day, the innocent Elder Timothy McClellan (my dear friend who is now in Rivera) and I were walking up to the class building and this Hermana and her companion were at least 10 Meters in front of us. Without books or anything in her hands, or anyone else around, she turns around, and looks at us Elders who had just come from the bookstore and had FULL hands, waits the necessary 15 or more seconds for us to arrive at the said door and simply demanded, "open the door for me." Being polite, the Elder McClellan did as was commanded but grudgingly. Later the same sister missionary, who had managed to seat herself across from me, shoved her tray across the table at me when she was done eating and said "thanks." WHY I OUGHTA!! I took it without complaint, but I did find it ridiculous.

So are you ready for the worser of the two stories? Okay here we go: I was near leaving in the MTC when there was a blonde Hermana missionary come into our zone who seemed to think she could just flirt as she pleased. I don't know why on earth any 22 year old girl would want to flirt with us 19 year old boys, but it happened. Anyway, she was studying in the hallway once and asked me for help with her Spanish. I offered a few pointers and tried moving, but she insisted she needed more help. Feeling VERY uncomfortable I offered a little more advice and told what some more words meant and then said I had to go. She would continue to ask ONLY me for help. I avoided her like the plague. She would try to situate herself to sit by me at lunch. That was the worst. One time, and only one time, she succeeded. I was good at trying to sit in the middle of a bunch of Elders to avoid her. I will have you know I was never rude, nor disrespectful to her. That is not my way. Nor did I talk bad about her to the other Elders and tell them what I noticed was happening. I quietly tried avoiding this situation. I was kind and tried to ignore her. Anyway, she managed to sit by me one day and kept bumping elbows with me. I was SO frustrated. I scooted my chair a good 6 inches to the left to avoid the elbow bumping. To no avail. The elbow kept coming. I did not find it amusing. I switched to my left hand and she scooted her chair closer and tried talking to me. I was polite...and very uncomfortable. The same Hermana stood by me when we were singing the "Til We Meet Again" as a Zone as I was to depart for Uruguay and she kept bumping into me during the song. I must've moved 5 feet during the standing song and she came along. UGGHH!!! Things like that just should not happen, especially to a poor 19 year old boy who basically took a two year vow of complete and utter abstinence from even looking at or talking to girls for the gospel. I get uncomfortable if someone tries shaking my hand too long. Although, there was this really cute old lady in Artigas who was about 90 years old that would always hold my hand for like 2 minutes as I was saying goodbye. I still felt a tad uncomfortable, but I just thought she was so funny and nice that it didnt bother me.

The sad thing about this story about the Blonde Hermana is that it is so tiny and minimal and nothing. You all probably think I sounded mean or that I was over thinking things. But to a missionary, little tiny things like that are tough to deal with. I remember it really bothered me. I remember wanting to ask, "what are you thinking?" so many times. I am glad I was nice and left without ever being rude. So those are my stories of Hermanas from the MTC. I know, ¿¿arent they SO dramatic?? They really are stupid little stories...but I had nothing better to talk about this week because nothing really happened last week. And I am trying to tell more stories and less thoughts. I always say my thought process, but as a perfectionist-missionary as you know that I am, I tend to be a little hard on myself at times and I appear bipolar on paper and email. So I dont want to do that anymore. So I will tell you stories. I do have them. They may be some boring ones, some that I think are funny that arent funny at all, etc... But I am going to make a goal to start telling at least one story per email. I want you all to know that I am a happy missionary and having fun out here.

Oh yeah, we have a baptism coming up this week of a woman named Ernestina. She is around 60 years old I think. SHE IS SO CUTE! She told us that she wanted to be baptized. We didn't even challenge her. And she is so excited. She tells everyone that she is getting baptized this friday. I love cute old people. I hope that we will be able to start working through her to teach her kids that are grown up now. The first step is getting everybody to her baptism. Anyway, she is even more amazing in that she seems to be healing miraculously. She had a stroke and couldn't even move half of her face or the eye on that side of her face. But as she told us, the more we teach her the better she feels. And it is visible. Her eye has opened up a ton and her face has movement that it didn't have. I was promised when President Virgin set me apart that I would see miracles on the mission and I have. I was promised that I would be an instrument in healing the sick and the near dying, and watching them live. I still havent found someone near dying that I have given a blessing to, but I believe it will happen as everything else that was promised me when I was set apart and in my patriarchal blessing also are being fulfilled out here. I have given blessings to the sick and seen them get better. Angels are with me. I have faith that the Lord truly does bless us when we trust in him and do as he asks. We are a blessed people. He has so promised us.

Well, I am out of time. I hope that you all are doing just peachy!! Take care!! I love you!! Andy