Email Dated 11-7-2007

Week 4 again, going on 5-ish

This has been my worst week at the MTC. I saw this coming, and I did my best, but I couldn't stop it. My companion Elder Braithwaite went home on Monday. He's been really homesick most of the time here, but for the most part he was able to shrug it off and keep busy. His girlfriend sending him a letter a day didn't really help. She actually sent him a total of 4 packages while we were here, and some days he'd get 3 letters from her. But she can't be blamed, I just wish she didn't make it harder for him. On Friday night we went to the TRC, practice teaching, and had to teach in Spanish. My companion got really scared and stopped talking. I led us through the lesson and kept giving him the chance to testify at least in Spanish, because that's really it. He did it fine. All in all, our lesson actually went fine. But I could tell he was disappointed in himself because he forgot a few words, and got discouraged. He combined his feelings of being overwhelmed with homesickness and he had a severe stomach ache that he couldn't/wouldn't shake. I could see something was wrong. I tried to be sensitive, encouraging, helpful, etc... I eventually asked if he wanted to talk about it, because I knew his "feeling sick", which is all he said it was, was really a lot more. I saw in his eyes defeat. He had truly given up. It came out of nowhere because he was actually one of the best at Spanish in our district. He had no need to be discouraged. I'd ask how he felt and he'd say "fine" or "just a little sick", but he insisted that he needed to speak with President Eddy, our Branch President. I accompanied him to a number of interviews over a few days this last weekend, and President Eddy had me in another room telling me that none of it was my fault. That he was going to be okay, that he would see some counselors here and etc... I prayed, and I prayed, and I prayed. I offered him a blessing, but he said he didn't want one. That was a bad sign to me because I knew he didn't want to feel better. He needed his sick feeling in order to go home, which he had resolved to do. I could see that clearly in his countenance. He wouldn't talk about it, and he'd lie and say he was fine. I saw right through him, but I didn't know how to handle that. Well, randomly on Monday morning, before he ever made it to a counselor, he said he had an interview with one of the Mission Presidency. He didn't, but we went anyway. He demanded to be let in, to be able to call home, and he did just that. 10 minutes later, President Garrett came out and said "go help him pack his things."

I was crushed. I didn't know what to do. But it was over. He said he was done. Knowing I couldn't talk him out of it, I did the next best thing.
Now I'm companioned with Elders Bodily and Archibald. They have been my roommates anyway, and so I'm close to them. It's harder in a trio to study. I've only been doing it for 2 days, but it is harder. Even so, we have a good time. I love them both. Elder Bodily is hilarious and Elder Archibald is really hard working. They're both going to Argentina when I go to Uruguay.

There isn't really much more to tell about this week, because for the past week my focus has been on Ryan Braithwaite and less on the rest of the work. I feel kind of like I failed. But I've been reassured that it wasn't my fault over and over. I really wish I had seen it coming sooner and done something. But I know I can't blame myself. We all have our own agency. I'm just sad for him. He really was capable of this work. My least favorite thing is everyone else who talks like they know him and want to know why he didn't stay.

I'm still trying to be the best missionary I can be. I want to be as fluent in Spanish as I can before I get out there. I really really really do.

I have been having fun, as well, just so you all know. My companion Elder Bodily and I have both bought canned cheese and Ritz and we have cheese/chess parties before bed sometimes. He has won 5/6, but I won the most recent one so that means I'm technically the best at it currently. Oh and how could i forget!!? Elder Bodily and I are going to try out for a musical number...we'll see. He has a recorder. He didn't even know how to play it. I taught him "If You Could Hie To Kolob" and he's been practicing. I'm gonna play some accompaniment and we're gonna try out. If we make it, I don't know if we'll be able to keep a straight face. But it really does sound pretty good. I arranged it this week and I kinda like it. If we make it, I'll have to find some way of getting a video of it. I'll let you know. It could be something pretty special. It's so funny that he's playing on that 4th grade recorder. It's fun. I play it sometimes and do Lord of the Rings music for everyone on the district. They enjoy that.

Well anyway, I have to go before my time expires. Adios!!! I love you all!!!

Sincerely,
Elder Andy Shepherd